Sunday, December 4, 2011


I wanted this... but not really.  I don't know what I want out of this situation.  I just hurts and sucks.  I thought maybe over time it would get easier.  But as of right now, its just been getting worse.  I feel like this kinda thing always comes from the people you least expect to hurt you.  I'm guilty too, yes.  I didn't handle every situation with tack and charisma.  I was struggling, it's hard when your entire world is telling you this is not the best thing for you now.  I flipped... it couldn't handle the pressure of upsetting everyone else.  Pathetic, perhaps, honest, definitely. I've come to realize in the end, you are one of the most important things in my life.  It sucks to have you walk away completely like this.  Last week this showed - I would drop everything for you, I was being directly told not too, I ended up ignoring them and doing it anyway, to proceed to be chew out by you... awesome.  I never thought you'd throw it right back in my face.  Maybe this is supposed to be my moment where I "see the light" and know that it was the right move, taking a step back.  I've always heard everyone talk about true colors.  But I most certainly don't feel like these are my true colors.  Or yours either.  Stress always seems to get the best of us.

I'll pray for you is really all I can say.  I hope you'll do the same.

Another rant... it's convenient that no one really reads this, otherwise I feel like I'd need to hold back a tad more.  It's terribly refreshing to have a place to rant.

Paz y bien.

Everyday is filled with beautiful moments, seek them.

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